Hi, Jennifer,
I'm not sure if you'll
remember me or if you're still the genetic counselor there. I terminated a pregnancy due to Trisomy 18 in September of 2011. I
had follow up genetic testing with a subsequent pregnancy, William, born
in July of 2012. He was conceived 6 weeks after our loss, and now that he's almost 3, I'm just taking some time to grieve.
This might be weird but
I'm sure you get a lot of weird questions… You answered so many of my
questions then, and I'm realizing there were some that I didn't ask.
I think a lot about my
abortion. Unfortunately. I wouldn't have made a different decision, but
the experience itself. I was just beyond
14 weeks by the time I
terminated. I had a D&E at BWH. I wished then, as I do now, that my experience
could have been different.
I read that termination
via induced L&D is sometimes offered after 14 weeks. So I also realize
that would be way more expensive but curious if it is actually ever offered as an option?
You had referred me to an
online support group. I have recently reconnected there and am thankful for
that group. Many of the women have foot prints. Or were able to scatter ashes. You
know what I mean. But, do you know what they
do with the babies, at Brigham and Women's? The doctor definitely didn't
know why I was there. The big pregnant intake person hadn't understood
either. What do they do with the contents of the red plastic box?
I understand that her body
wasn't a body that she could have lived in. I know it would have been
difficult, but could I have been awake? Could I have placed my hand on her
skin?
Thank you, Jennifer. I
know this is a tough email and I'm sorry for dumping it on you, but I have to
answer some of these questions and come to peace with their answers. I have
to do this so that I can have this life with my wonderful little boys. I can
no longer spend whole days with this grief.
Thank you again, and best wishes.
Jacqui Morton
