I have to confess I like time away from my children. And as soon as I've separated from them - even if it's that they've just gone to sleep - I long for them.
My job requires I talk for periods of time on the phone. I need to take precise notes and need silence. So while I work at home, my kids aren't always here with me. I feel really guilty about this. I hate being at home without them.
And sometimes, I love it. I mean, there are only two kid free days a week and most of the time I'm on the phone every moment of those days. Then there are the three days I'm here with just a baby. We do a lot of work together on those days and even when Ben is home later in the day, I'm sometimes typing away. On the weekends, we are all home and I'm catching up with work. So when I get to just work, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I sometimes love it.
I feel like I am never doing enough of any one thing. This seems like an age old problem for most moms. So it seems like we should be nicer to one another.
I was talking to a friend of mine who is a mom who has a very full time job. She misses her kids like crazy and she wishes she could be with them more.
I was telling her about a conversation I recently had where someone made me feel badly about my own situation where I work at home but am not a stay at home mom, per se. My friend and I proceeded to talk about the ridiculousness of moms being down on each other at every opportunity... birthing....nursing....sleeping. It's endless. Even when it comes to work. We all say "life is hard enough" but do we really live that?
Do we really realize that we are all just doing what works for our family? My new new years resolution (aside from updating this blog) is to never make an assumption about another mother. Never. We have some idea how hard it is so it seems like a silly thing to do, to assume someone else isn't dealing with the same challenge, plus whateverelsewedon'tsee, times lifeasitis, divided by itsjusthard.